I wish!
You know what I wish ? I wish I had Miralax and Linzess back when I was in college. There are a few football players that I would have dosed their beer with that stuff on a regular basis. Seemed they were so shitty anyway, would make noise when we had to study, turned up their radios to max when we complained. Yup Linzess and Miralax.. Might even could have inproved their sprinting times.