Wow, you are definitely NOT cut out to be a politician.
When I lived in MX I often took people into Guadalajara etc. and if it was someone new I said there were 4 rules:
1. Drive with conviction like you know where you're going
2. Never let them see fear in your eyes
3. Spend money like you have it
4. NO SCREAMING due to traffic insanity, that will be handled by the driver
On a serious note, my first rule is: just because you can do something doesn't mean you should.