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relationship humor

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Relative Humidity:   The sweat that runs down your back when you are doing it to your sister in law.

Truth be told,  that was some kid's answer on an Earth Science test question.   No,  he didn't get the credit, but I have always remembered it.

Samantha Cohen came home from a date, rather sad.
She told her mother, "David proposed to me an hour ago."
"Then why are you so sad?" her mother asked.
"Because he also told me he is an atheist. Mom, he doesn't even believe there's a Hell."
"Marry him anyway,” Mrs. Cohen replied. “Between the two of us, we'll show him how wrong he is."

Garth Bock:
A husband took his wife to a club. Out on the the dance floor was a guy dancing like crazy. His wife said 25 years ago that guy proposed to me and I turned him down. The husband said...looks like he is still celebrating.


An Admiral, whom lost one of his ears in an accident and was very sensitive about his appearance, was interviewing a Navy Master Chiefs, an Aviation Master Chief and a Marine Sergeant Major for his personal staff...
The first Master Chief was a Surface Navy type and it was a great interview. At the end of the interview the Admiral asked him,
"Do you notice anything different about me?" The Master Chief answered, "Why, yes, Admiral. I couldn't help but notice that you are
missing your starboard ear, so I don't know whether this impacts your hearing on that side."
The Admiral got very angry at this lack of tact and threw him out of his office.
The next candidate, an Aviation Master Chief, when asked this same question, answered,
"Well yes, Sir, you seem to be short one ear." The Admiral threw him out as well.
The third interview was with the Marine Sergeant Major. He was articulate, extremely sharp, and seemed to know more than the two Master Chiefs put together. The Admiral wanted this guy, but went ahead with the same question. "Do you notice anything different about me?"
To his surprise, the Sergeant Major said, "Yes Sir. You wear contact lenses."
The Admiral was impressed and thought to himself, what an incredibly tactful Marine. "And how would you know that?" the Admiral asked.
The Sergeant Major replied: "Well, sir, it's pretty hard to wear glasses with only one f**kin' ear.


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