I'd say ET is the most widely use of the 2. In fact, the California DWR created a Watering Index based on 7 Day total ET.
Basically, you total 7 days of calculated ET, divide it by the highest average historical 7 day ET for your are and multiply by 100 to get a percentage. Then, on most current irrigation controllers there is a percent adjustment. You set the controller for your highest required watering and then adjust the percentage control on your timer accordingly.
In fact, on my website I have a version of the Watering Index which I modified. It's basically the same function, except that my formula subtracts the last 7 days accumulated rain from the ET figure to more accurately (IMO) reflect what the watering needs really are. And I have the server calculate the Watering Index every day on the last 7 running days total ET and rain.
One thing... With either the regular Watering Index or my modified one, it's entirely possible to have more than 100% irrigation required. We just had a hot, dry, windy spell here and right now mine is 114%.
And, with my modified version, it's possible to have a less than zero percentage if we receive a lot of rain. It's rather nice because you can get an idea of when to start watering again as the negative index approaches zero.
FWIW, before I found the DWR's Watering Index, I'd created my own, which was purely based on ET and rain with no historic value. A simple version is just to sum 7 day's ET and that's how much water you need to put out in inches over the next week. Then you can subtract 7 day's rain from it to allow for rain if you want.
As far as soil moisture, I have a station over in my vineyard that I've been playing with. It's more for watching long term soil moisture, though. I only water the grapes 1x per week to get them established and then I'm going to try dry-farming them.